5 Reasons Joe Biden Is the Best President EVER
This President’s Day, let’s give back to the man who has given us so much…
The future is so bright, we have to shut our eyes and stumble blindly to reach it.
As the United States and the World quickly ascend to a new era of peace and prosperity, it’s more important than ever that we do our part. Rather than be passive passengers on this ship to the Promised Land, we must act. We must strive. We must show utmost love and appreciation for the steward of our generation.
And his name is Joe Biden.
Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., a proud product of Scranton, Pennsylvania, is the leader we never thought we needed.
As we enjoy this President’s Day with a plethora of affordable foods and drinks, let us reflect. Today might be George Washington’s birthday (technically, it’s not), but even Ol’ General George has trouble measuring up to our current Commander in Chief.
Here are 5 reasons Joe Biden is the best president to have ever lived, anywhere, ever, for any reason, ever, in the universe…
1. Committed to the Task
Being President of this great country is no easy feat. You have to be sharp, you have to be adaptive, and perhaps most importantly, you have to be dedicated. As leader of the free world, Joe Biden has exemplified this latter quality better than anyone. Through his dogged determination, he continues to be an unstoppable force, leaving many of his younger staffers struggling to keep up.
Some have even equated his work ethic to that of a machine. Is Biden even human? A genetic freak? A mind-over-matter marvel? An “organic robotoid”?
Who knows, but the facts speak for themselves…
And so what if the guy takes a little R&R from time to time? The man is human after all, doesn’t he deserve it? Besides, look at that bod…
You wanna do push-ups, Jack? Try me!
2. A Keen Communicator
When you think of the most impactful orators of all time, who comes to mind? Martin Luther King? Winston Churchill? Barack Hussein Obama?
Well, in case you’ve been sleeping in a box next to a Corvette for the past few years, there’s a new wordsmith in town. Known for his elocution and common touch, Biden has clearly established himself among the best speakers of our lifetimes.
Oration is no easy task, but if you have a knack for the spoken tongue, as Joe clearly does, it can do wonders. And the best part is, he barely requires a teleprompter!
Of course, what good is the messenger, if the message is bad? You can wrangle words and distort language and deliver polished palaver all you want, but if what you’re saying is no good, eventually the people will see through it.
Fortunately, Biden doesn’t have to worry about that…
3. A BOOMING Economy
Just several short years ago, under the Cheeto-faced führer, the economy was circling the toilet bowl and pockets everywhere were shrinking faster than a micropenis in a blizzard. Families were clamoring for resources, stringing together their paltry budgets, and wondering how they were going to survive week to week. Consumer confidence plunged, savings evaporated, and by and large, people were losing their shirts (and minds).
Put simply, the economy was terrible.
Boy, how things have changed!
Now, with a supreme financial mind in the Oval Office, we can finally rest easy. Worries have quickly subsided as people of all backgrounds are realizing the American dream.
You don’t need a microscope to see what’s happening. Things are going well, very well, and the public can feel it.
What we have to remember is that most people complaining about the economy being bad are, simply, living in La La Land.
Just because you see prices increasing and the power of your pocket dropping, doesn’t mean it’s actually happening.
And did you forget about COVID-24? We’re in the middle of a Global Pandemic for chrissakes!
Besides, why believe your eyes, ears, and bank account when you can choose not to?
4. Sharp as a Tack
It’s easy to cast aspersions on people for the occasional flub, gaffe, or miscue. It’s easy to toss stones when you’re not in the arena. Fortunately, for President Biden, none of that is an issue.
They say you can judge a man by his fruits, and for ‘Middle-Class Joe,’ that’s certainly true.
Simply look at his son, whom Biden calls “the smartest guy I know.” Where do you think that genius (and incredible artistic ability) came from?
Clearly, debating Biden’s cognitive health is a losing argument. Not to mention, it makes the critic look increasingly stupid him or herself. Would you challenge a Nobel laureate in their area of expertise??
But look Jack, we all fall down from time to time, right? It’s not about how or where we fall, but how we pull ourselves back up. It’s about perseverance. It’s about follow-through. It’s about putting on your work boots every single day, putting your head down, and grinding toward your American dream.
“This is the United States of America for God’s sake!”
5. A Champion for Peace
From the Middle East to the Southern border, the Biden Administration is on it. If you read conspiracy theory rags or listen to raving lunatics who work for ICE and CBP, you might be convinced there’s a problem. Of course, this is just a bucket of lies.
Besides, why would you listen to some bigot on the front lines when the bureaucrats in Washington know exactly what’s happening?
As for conflicts abroad, these were bound to happen. The Middle East has always been a pressure cooker, and if it weren’t for the outright belligerence of President Biden’s predecessor, things would be peaceful today!
Okay, okay, so perhaps there are minor ‘skirmishes’ here and there, and things are going a little astray depending upon your angle, but this is all just part of the greater Plan. With every new and revolutionary push, there are growing pains.
We have to accept that. We’re all in this together, and the last thing you wanna do is be some kinda contrarian lone wolf who thinks he or she knows better. Yes, nothing is ideal. We know that. But by and large, the Biden Administration has a handle on things. We’re all better off than we were, just a short while ago, and that’s a fact, Jack.
So buckle up, saddle in, and let’s enjoy this ride to the Promised Land together. Because frankly? The last thing we need right now is a lying dog-faced pony soldier.
Wow! You nailed it! Happy President Day All...Here's to another four years of peace and prosperity!
I read this and then poked pencils in my eyes.